God, the Old Ball and Chain (a Short Love Story)
Hello My Friend,
If it’s taken you this long to realize that you need God in your life, it may take just a bit longer to fully comprehend all of the ways that God changes your life for the better. When people first 'discover' the ideas of religion / God / Enlightenment they may expect miracles at every turn, but it doesn't necessarily work that way. As the Supremes told us,
"You can't hurry love.
No, you'll just have to wait.
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes."
Once you realize that you are an extension of God, and inherent within you is the infinite power of God, then you’ll start to direct this power to the benefit of others and yourself. You might get instant over-night results when you do get yourself a God, but, more likely, the results will creep up on you. It’s like falling in love. Sometimes it’s love at first sight, sometimes it’s a slow, awkward, passionate burn.
Let’s imagine that God is an ugly woman (or man, as the case may be) that you meet at a party or some kind of social gathering. When you first meet Her, She’s not attractive at all, She’s kind of a dog, really. She’s got a weird nose and her left eye looks a little funky – is She cross-eyed? And…does She have a limp, too? It’s kinda hard to tell but it looks like She’s wobbling a bit. Either way, She’s not your type.
At some point you end up talking to this ugly chick and it turns out She’s fairly interesting. The party is a real snore-fest, and this woman ends up being the highlight of the evening. You say your good-byes to Her and your hosts - (because you’re a polite guest), - and you head on home.
As you’re settling in for the night, you start thinking about that ugly chick, with Her nice smile and that weird nose, and you drift off to sleep as the funky-eyed girl dances her way into your dreams.
About a week goes by and you happen to see God at the local mini-mart. And She looks really good. She gives you a warm, friendly smile with those perfect, soft eyes, and She glides Her way over to say hi.
You’re not really sure what to say or what to do, but you do know that you want to spend more time with Her. It just feels good to be around her. There’s just something about Her. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but it’s electric. You are officially smitten and you want to know everything about Her. You just want to BE with Her.
So you and God begin dating and things are going well, but like all relationships, it doesn’t start getting really good (or challenging) until you have time to get to know each other, observe, and commune with other. The more time you spend in love with someone, the stronger that relationship gets - or the more it risks falling apart. Hopefully, you’ll be so enamored by God that you’ll make an honest woman of Her, and you’ll insist on getting married. This is where the real fun starts.
As your relationship with God grows and matures, you start discovering all the little quirks and nuances of your partner. The ‘Honeymoon Phase’ with God is pretty incredible. You get all jazzed up and excited about everything, even the stupid little things that most people take for granted, you notice and marvel at
Awww. Look how her lip quivers when she does the crossword puzzle. She’s so cute.
You are in a giddy, almost silly, mood most of the time, drunk on the feeling of being in Love. You’ll ride this wave of ecstasy for a while, but at some point it will start to lose some of it sparkle. Let’s face it, screwing and praising each other is fun...but come on. After a while, enough’s enough.
So, things are good: you love God and God loves you, but you’re starting to get a little too comfortable with God. It’s not that you necessarily feel ‘stuck,’ but it’s just that, with God in your life, you don’t do all the cool stuff you used to do. You could go out with your friends, but you really don’t want to. You could go out to the bar, but you don’t really feel like it. It’s not that God is stopping you from doing these things, it’s just you feel weird doing them with God around. You and God spent so much time fucking, that you lost interest in everything else in your life. So, now what? Now, it’s just you and God. What comes next?
You may find that your relationship grows into one that is like that of an old couple who have been married for a long, long time. You and your old lady are committed to each other but your lovely bride, your sweet angel, your kind, beautiful caring partner for whom you would do anything is, to your chagrin, very, very stubborn.
God never gives in and She never loses an argument. Ever. No matter how many so-called ‘good points’ you come up with, they are never acknowledged nor accepted by God. She always has a better counter argument that is impossible to deny. And She’s kind of bossy, too, always telling you what to do, where to go, and how to act.
If you don’t do what God wants, then all you'll hear is constant nagging and complaining because you’re not doing what needs to be done. There’ll be a constant voice just knit-picking away at all of things you didn’t do that you were supposed to.
It’ll come to the point when you just get so tired of it, you'll finally yell out, “Ok, ok! Enough already. Jeez, what a nag! I’ll get it done, alright? Ok? Look. Look! You see this? I’m doing it now. You happy? Does that make you happy, God? Great. There, it’s done, alright? Now, let me sit down for a minute and – what?!
You’ve gotta be kidding me. You want me to do that now? Right now? What the fu...
Alright, alright. It never ends with you does it? Yeah, I know, I know: 'if God ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.' I get it. You’re the big boss...yeah, yeah, yeah.”
That ‘old ball and chain’ just won’t leave you alone. But, at some point, you’ll learn that the only way for your life with God to flourish is to do exactly what God tells you to do. That’s all there is to it. As soon as you do what needs to get done, She shuts up, and then you can actually relax for a minute. But don’t get too comfortable.
You see, when you get yourself a God, when you marry your spirit to the One Spirit, you find out that it’s all about Her. Sure, you get to add your unique touches of expression to what God wants you to do, but don’t try to change any of God’s plans. That just doesn’t work.
If you’re smart, you won’t put up a fight with anything God wants. You know that if God wants it, and you do it, then it will always benefit you.
God never fucks you over, God is always super supportive, God never cheats on you, and God never puts you down. Sure, God is very demanding, but you know that anything that needs to get done will be worth it when every day is a satisfying day of success and achievement, and you get to crawl into bed, wrap yourself around your sweet love, and snug up to your warm, cozy God, and settle in for a nice night’s sleep.
All is good when you do right by God. So, eventhough it may feel like God is the ‘old ball and chain’ that’s keeping you down and keeping you from having a good time, or keeping your busy with bullshit, seemingly petty chores, in reality God is the rock, the foundation of your life and the source of your power to grow, learn, expand, achieve, and become. God is that calm, stable partner you’ve needed for so long. That once-exciting, mesmerizing dream boat that you fell in love with is now your True Love and your Eternal Partner...
So don’t go getting all itchy and start thinking you can do better than God. Just because that initial spark seems to have faded, and things are getting comfortable and routine - doesn't mean that you need to move on to your next romance.
This is what you need, dummy. You’ve been fucking around for way too long. So what if your life is ‘boring’? Who cares if she doesn’t want to ‘do it’ all the time? That’s when you start reading. That’s when you study. That’s when you have the chance to actually become who you’re supposed to be. Don’t blow this, alright?
The ‘boring’ part doesn’t last, if you do what God says - and She’s telling you to find out - now with Her at your side - who you really are. She’s ready to build a life and have your babies, but you’ve got to figure out what kind of kids you want to have, and how you will live your life based on praising and extolling the virtues of your partner, God.
You can do ANYTHING you want as long as it has at its core the intentional magnification of the glory of God, that which promotes livingness to its fullest, most beautiful expression in harmony with all. There’s only one caveat: it has to be unique to you. That’s the only way it will work.
You figure out what kind of life you really want and God will be there to support, encourage, and empower you all the way through to completion of your goals...IF she approves.
Don’t test the waters of vanity and conceit - just do your work until you have perfected it.
Don’t worry about the reward, or the price of your tools, just keep working until you have mastered your ability to fulfill your responsibility to let God’s beauty shine through and from you. That’s what she’s asking, and that’s a lot but, of course, you can do it. You don’t have a choice.
Sure, you could try living without God, but let’s face it: without that old ball and chain, without God, you’re nothing. Yeah, She’s always breaking your balls, and She’s a nag, so what? You love her, She’s your Old Lady, you can’t live without her, right? That’s just how it goes. What are you gonna do?
You think that whore that you flirted with at the coffee shop really wants to deal with all your bullshit? Come on, man. She's just looking for tips. You better figure out how to make your relationship with God work out or you are gonna be so screwed. You think you can just tell God that you're done with Her? Good luck with that, buddy. That bitch is crazy, and she ain't letting you go with a serious fight.
You think you’re going to make it in this wild world, in this ocean of chaos, without God? You’re fucking crazy.
Your Old Lady, God, that old ball and chain - that’s the only thing keeping you afloat. You better hang on for dear life, because God is all you've got.
Until we meet again, my friend, think good thoughts.
All my love,
Rev. Shakes Spear