Rusty Nails and Bubble Gum (How to Make a Million Dollars)
Hello my sweet friend,
Have you ever purchased something with high expectations only to be let down when you actually used it? Have you ever wanted something so badly only to find out that it wasn’t what you expected at all; that it didn’t even come close to matching the hype? Why is it that so many businesses are successful when their products and services just suck?
What is it that makes a business, product, or service successful? Does it have to be good? No. Does it have to work correctly? No. Does it have to do what it is supposed to do? No. So, then, we have to ask, “How is this business even in business? Why is this business successful?”
In so many instances that which makes something popular or successful has nothing to do with quality, but rather the ‘personality’ behind it; the images, ideas, and, most importantly, the feelings associated with that product or business – which, in most cases, is based on some superficial ideal portrayed by a specific type of person or group of people.
For example, Victoria’s Secret isn’t selling lingerie as much as they are selling fantasy; the fantasy that you will look like the sexy models depicted in their advertisements – eventhough they know damn well that 90% of their customers won’t be looking anything their models when the actually put these garments on. Sure, sexy is in the eye of the beholder, and maybe women ‘feel’ sexier in expensive underwear (which is wonderful) but what Victoria’s Secret is really selling is fantasy and they simply use cheap, Chinese-made clothing as the way to do it. If you think that a man, or any other beholder, who is looking at a nearly nude woman would notice the difference between a Walmart thong and a Victoria’s Secret thong, you’re dead wrong. And if you think he’d care, you’re just plain nuts.
It turns out that Victoria’s real secret is that you can sell almost nothing for a premium price if you package it correctly. This is the same little secret that emboldens people to get on TV and social media, and cast their spells claiming that YOU, TOO can have a rich, luxurious life just like theirs IF you order their program and follow their three little steps; easy steps that anyone - even lazy simpletons like you! - can replicate. And then you can sell this amazing program to all of your friends and neighbors, and they can get rich, too! But, come on - can it really be that easy? Just three little steps? Well, let’s see.
The first step, they’ll tell you, in creating wealth is your belief in yourself. The second step relies on your belief in the product; you’ve got to really love what you’re selling or promoting. The third step is getting your product or service in front of a lot of eyes. If people don’t know what you sell, they can’t buy it. And that all sounds pretty reasonable, right? This is pretty standard, ‘How to Start a Small Business’ information.
Ok, let’s start with the first step: you have to believe in yourself…and you don’t… And so, we have our first little snag in the process of you becoming a happy millionaire. You don’t believe in yourself. Great. And so you can’t really be successful. Why? Because if you don’t believe in yourself it means that you don’t love yourself, and if you don’t love yourself, that means you don’t have a God, and if you don’t have a God, that means that you don’t know who you are and you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing – otherwise you would be doing what you’re supposed to be doing instead of trying to find out HOW to do something that somebody ELSE is telling you that you should be doing - which most likely has nothing to do with what you’d really like to be doing.
But how are any of us supposed to know how anything works until we gain our own experience or learn from the knowledge of others who have come before us? There’s no shame in trying to get a head start, or acquire some good advice and solid plans while you’re trying to do something bold and courageous; when you’re trying to better yourself for the sake of future, your family, and your love ones. But there are a lot of unscrupulous hucksters that know that, at some point, all men and women will go through a stage of desiring growth; of wanting more out of life, and those slick sons-a-bitches will very often try to take advantage of the fact that you don’t have an honest, fundamental understanding of who you really are, and so they will try to sell you a fictionalized, ‘Hollywood version’ of you that doesn’t really exist; a make-believe persona that they convince you will succeed by using their ‘Secret Formula.’ As if, somehow, having access to the ‘Secret Formula’ of wealth is going to miraculously make all of your self-hatred and self-doubt disappear.
That first step in most of these get-rich-quick schemes…that’s the big one: belief in yourself. It’s the one that these shady schemers gloss over because they know that if they dwell on it, they won’t get you or anyone to buy their stuff. They want you to imagine that You are just like them and, therefore, you can do it, too. “See?” They’ll say as they walk past hot chicks in bikinis, drinking martinis by the dollar-sign shaped pool, “I’m living proof!” They want to convince you that - despite all logic, reason, and common sense – you and Mr. ‘Also Nobody’ are just the same. But that’s not true and it never will be.
When you hear someone claim that you can make a million dollars in two short weeks with just a handful of rusty nails and some bubble gum, you better not think that this gimmick has anything to do with nails and gum. Just because somebody has made millions with the ‘RNBG Success Formula’ doesn’t mean that you will, too.
This kind of gimmick has everything to do with WHO is selling instead of WHAT is being sold. Whatever gimmick this slick pitch man is shilling is totally irrelevant, but you get so swept up in the hype and charisma of this charlatan that you let your reason and discernment fly out the window, and you talk yourself into buying this wonderful, breakthrough program that allows even dummies like you to strike it rich. But you don’t realize that you’ve been hypnotized and you have been lulled into a false sense of honor among the thief in front of you, who’s trying to sell you a gimmick that may or may not have ever worked under any circumstances with any positive results ever…despite the charts, graphs, and personal testimonials that they flash in front of you.
None of it really adds up, but now they got you thinking, ‘Well, geez, I have some rusty nails in the junk drawer in my kitchen and I could buy a pack of gum…hmmmm. I really think I can do this! Why not? This asshole did it, and I’m just him,” and then you invest your time, money, and most valuably your hope, trust, and good intentions into the program only to find out that even with all the rusty nails and chewed-up bubble gum in the world you just can’t make any money. And, of course, you wonder why you’re not getting the results that the toothy snake oil salesman got.
So…what’s going on? What’s the problem? You followed all the steps. Now what are you supposed to do? Well, maybe you need to upgrade to the next level with the optional but highly-recommended ‘RNBG Million Dollar Bonus Business Booster Pack’ which claims to have that one, teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy missing ingredients that a lot of students, just like you, lack; it’s that ‘Super-Special Secret’ that will guarantee success.* In fact this secret is so valuable and so guaranteed to work that if you order now, you’ll get your very own, limited edition, highly exclusive, ‘certified organic’ plastic envelope printed with the words, “Rusty Nails & Bubble Gum Million Dollar Money Holder” so you’ll have a place to stash those fat stacks of cash as that dough starts rolling in!
You can see where this is going, right? Once you come to the conclusion that what you bought was a fantasy, a dream designed to sucker you in based on the fact that you have no direction in your life and you don’t know who you are, then steps 2 and 3 don’t even matter. Sure, you could try to pull one over on a couple of your friends or relatives by sweet-talking them into your stupid scheme at the next family barbecue, but they’ll see right through the nonsense and will likely be offended that you thought they’d even fall for such a dumb idea - at which point you realize the real value of the program that you fell for. You learn the valuable lesson that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. It can be summed up with a simple phrase popularized by the rap group Public Enemy when they warned you, ‘Don’t believe the hype.’
So, while you thought you DID believe in yourself, you actually believed in the guy who believed in himself - and that’s why he struck it rich: he knows who he is: he’s a Snake-Oil Salesman. Fine. He’s good at it. We all need a gimmick, right? Good for him, bad for you.
So, what’s the real difference between this guy and you? Well, this motherfucker has the balls to lie straight to your face and take your money for a gimmick that he knows is a hoax.
It’s people like this that know how to use their own innate God-given talents like style, charm, and charisma (and combine it with your desperation and longing) to distract you from truly exploring yourself and, instead, they convince you to buy their extremely vague blue-prints of a plan that won’t work for 9 1/2 out of 10 people because their program is based on what can never be sold: confidence. And you don’t have that. A person with confidence in themselves really can do anything - but that’s not you, not yet anyway. Someone with confidence isn’t interested in ‘get-rich quick’ schemes because they have true faith that their own plan will work out as intended. They’re not desperate or needy. They’re calm and focused because they know who they are.
The only time these ‘infomercial’ plans work is when the customers are already in love with themselves and they already believe that they can succeed under any circumstances - and these people, these determined, self-directed people, wether they know it or not, have already found God. Maybe they have a different name for it, or maybe they’re even blissfully unaware of it, but either way, they love themselves and they have found freedom in their ability to celebrate this fact as they explore their lives without boundaries, limitations, or fear.
Sweethearts like you and me, on the other hand, we’ve got a special kind of stupid that makes us believe in everything BUT ourselves, and therefore we can be easy pickings for vultures and other scavengers seeking to take advantage of earnest souls who are just looking for a break. But, graciously, things have changed.
Surely, it’s clear now that there is no get-rich-quick scheme that works if you aren’t doing what you are meant to do be doing. If you aren’t having daydreams and fantasies about corroded hardware and alternative adhesives, then do yourself a favor and, please, don’t get into the rusty nails and bubble gum business. There’s no room for you there. It’s not for you. It’s not your gimmick.
There’s no point in fucking around with any scheme or business idea that doesn’t REALLY, REALLY speak to your heart.
You have unique qualities, characteristics, skills, ideas, and visions that can be used to better your life and the lives of others, but it’s up to YOU to discover those assets and use them in the way that only you can. Of course, you aren’t limited to just one thing. You can undertake many ventures in your life, but there really is a thing or two, something very special to you, that you should be pursuing. But only you know what that is. It’s not very likely that your dream and Mr. Info-mercial’s dream are really the same thing.
Sure, it’s fun to believe and daydream that you are just like the guy in the video who struck it rich, and eventhough you and the guy have some similar qualities it just so happens that those qualities aren’t enough for you, as your unique Self, to replicate his ‘million dollar system’ because it doesn’t truly resonate with your core character.
If you said to me, “Hey, Rev. Shakes, you can make a million dollars in two weeks just by working at the slaughter house” I’d have to pass. “What are you talking about? Are you crazy?” The old-timer at the slaughter house would, “I do this shit for $25 an hour, and you’re going to turn down a million dollars?! You’re nuts! All you gotta do is shoot ‘em in the head and rip out their guts. It’s easy!”
Yeah, sounds real easy, right? Sure, it’s physically possible for me to carry out the actions required to be a top-notch slaughter house employee, but it’s just not my cup of tea, you know? Anybody could do it, really, when it comes down it, but who among us has the fortitude, desire, or even tolerance of such acts? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are a lot of sweethearts that work at the slaughter house, a lot of good people with high morals and impeccable ethics, but they have something that I don’t have, something that I don’t want: the ability to kill for money. Sorry, I just can’t do it. It doesn’t really fit who I am. But the people who work there rightly have the idea that ‘a buck’s a buck’ and they have no problem doing whatever is necessary to earn a buck. Good for them, bad for cows and bad for chickens.
And so, you can see why a con artist finds it so easy to sell you a box full of empty promises and workbooks full of empty dreams. It’s nothing to them. It’s just ripping out the guts. They don’t give a fuck whether or not you succeed with your business plan because their business plan is simply to sell you SOMETHING - it doesn’t really matter what it is, what it does, or if it works. You are a consumer and consumers need things to consume, so they will sell you anything that they think you may want - whether it has any value or not. Their job isn’t to love you, guide you, and nurture you until you have achieved a satisfactory level of success, their job is to get your money. That success part? That’s up to you, pal. Didn’t you read the fine print?
So eventhough you and Mr. Snake Oil share the same desired end results: success, getting there takes the path that only you can take - and that’s the path that you make, the one you wear by walking your way - always toward your destination - with relentless persistence. Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have success right now and on each step of the way, but don’t get distracted by the pretty flowers that beckon for your attention. Think from the end. Each step you take should make even clearer still, the picture of perfection that you are walking toward; the perfection that pulls you forth as your journey progresses.
The person who sold you that last stupid gimmick was showing you what a Professional Huckster can do, and you’re not a one of those so, fortunately, you don’t have to be a shill to make a living. That’s really good news.
People who can mimic and mock others are neat, right? Sure, I like an impersonator or a talking parrot as much as the next guy. But anyone can buy a ‘paint by numbers’ kit and fill in the colors in the right spots and end up with something that resembles the Mona Lisa but it lacks the fine nuanced brush strokes and truly creative aspects that can only come from the Soul of an artist who knows exactly how THEIR vision comes to life. They see it in their Mind’s Eye - and you can’t see that.
You cannot duplicate the vision that inspired the original creation of the Mona Lisa, you can only fill in the blanks of someone else’s magnificence, but you can never call it your own. It’s just a cheap copy. So, really…who cares?
A monkey can be trained to put spots of color on a canvas but that doesn’t make him Van Gogh. It’s not an artistic creation if there is no sincere vision behind it. And this is what the hopeful (but naïve) buyers of these shady money-making programs don’t know yet. But soon enough we all find out.
After enough failed attempts at striking it rich with fool-proof gimmicks, we are forced to confront ourselves and (hopefully) come to the realization that our success is entirely dependent on exploiting our own, unique qualities that only we possess - and that’s not something we can buy.
“But,” you may ask, “how do I know who I really am? How do I know what my ‘purpose’ is?” And to that I answer, “Stop fucking around and get yourself a God.” That’s really the only answer there is. It’s the fundamental, very, very, very first step you must take if you are ever going to know who you are and why you’re here – and it’s the step that HAS to come before any success of any kind can be achieved.
Everybody has to ‘meet their Maker’ sooner or later, right? You might as well do it now, and figure out who your Maker is, what you were made for, and what the fuck you’re supposed to be making. You have to consciously explore your consciousness and answer the questions that we all toy with, but most never narrow down: “Who Am I?” and “Why Am I here?” And then the (sometimes horrible) follow up questions: “Then why the hell am I living like this” and “What must I do to become who I really Am?” and “Is this who I really Am? Is this the finest and most-refined version of the I Am that I Am?” If not, you’ve got a decision to make.
I don’t care what, how, or why you’re not happy, successful, or abundant – the answer to any problem is to stop fucking around and get yourself a God; stop distracting and confusing yourself with ideals that don’t belong to you, that aren’t your own. Not everyone is supposed to be famous. Not everyone is supposed to be filthy rich. Not everyone is supposed to live in mansions. And not everyone is supposed to fit the current, narrow definition of what is or isn’t considered pretty, fashionable, politically correct, or rich. Stop getting hung up on comparing yourself to everybody else and finding fault with the differences between you and everybody else. There is beauty IN the differences between you and everybody and that is what makes life so interesting and fantastically wonderful.
If we were all striving for the same definition of beauty, beauty would cease to be because it would no longer be extraordinary. “Oh, great, more beauty. So what?” But it is what is different that strikes us as beautiful because it is Its very own, extremely unique expression OF ITSELF that cannot be found anywhere else. And when something, anything is in full bloom; when a person is fully alive and fully expressing themselves - no matter how subtle and discreet it may be - then REAL beauty is revealed, and that beauty is undeniably magnetic and exhilarating.
And this is why you’re here: to find out what beauty you possess and how you can bring it to the forefront of your life as it guides you through your journey ever closer toward perfection - which doesn’t necessarily end with you sitting in a bath tub full of diamonds and eating caviar with gold spoons. But, achieving a full, happy, successful life starts with figuring out who you really are and then fully becoming That. But That, the You that can only BE you when you embrace who you really are, can’t be bought or sold - it can only be evoked, conjured, or manifested by your will to make it so.
In Holy Books, fairy tales, epic poems, and a billion stupid movies and cheesy pop songs, the whole world has been telling you to “follow your heart,” “be yourself.” Well, this is what that means! But do you have the guts to really do it? Not to become some half-assed rusty nails and bubble gum-like millionaire living a shell of a life with your garage full of Lamborghinis and retro pinball machines, but to lose yourself in the Beauty of Unity with God? That’s what I’m selling. Who’s buying?
Once you get yourself a God you will get your Whole Self, your Real Self, your Authentic Self, and in doing so, you’ll discover the direction that you’d truly like to take your life, and what gifts you have to share that you can no longer keep to yourself; you’ll have the courage and confidence to achieve all of your dreams and fill in all the missing pieces that will make your life complete, and give you the comfort and satisfaction of knowing that you are perfect just the way you are right now and forever because you are One with God and God never fails.
But getting yourself a God is very expensive. It’s more than any ‘3 easy payments’ plan can cover. It costs even more than the Inner Platinum Silver Circle Gold Club V.I.P. Membership that your favorite big-time motivator mover and shaker is trying to convince you that you need to buy in order to achieve true happiness - it’s a little bit more than that. It’s a price that most people aren’t willing to pay eventhough everyone can afford it. That’s the crazy part: Every One can get a God with no money down, and no religion required - but it ain’t free.
So, what’s the cost? Well, getting yourself a God will cost you YOU.
If you want to have it all, if you want to move on up to the big leagues, you’ll have to invest in the biggest gimmick EVER: God. And the God Gimmick costs everything. You have to give up who you used to be to become who you are…which is One with God - and that’s the big trick, that’s that old ‘gotcha,’ the caveat, the twist. You have to give up being you and become who God knows you to be…but you still have to be you, too. It’s not necessarily going to be easy. You’re going to have to reconcile you and God, and that is no simple task. You’re going to have to, somehow, fit God inside of you and then let God flow through you - and God is big and wide, so you’re going to have to really relax and open up. The rumors are true: God has a huge Spirit.
So, if you buy into The Gimmick of All Gimmicks, the new God-Infused, God-Flavored You will be in love with Itself and in love with the world. You’ll find the new Lovestruck you doesn’t fuck around anymore, doesn’t get caught up in the illusion, and realizes that ‘having it all’ goes way beyond the trivial things that you can hold and own.
Now, I’m not saying that you can’t have all the fancy things you want. Almost everybody wants to surround themselves with niceties like a perfect-sized home, some nice cars and maybe a good watch, or some pretty earrings, and maybe a swing-set and a puppy for the kids - that kind of goes without saying. Wanting those things is fine, and what do those things represent? Success, stability, prosperity, abundance, yada, yada, yada. That’s great, but our Ultimate Goal is Unity with God, to let God flow through us as we fulfill our mission to exploit our unique gifts and share them; to be an outlet of the Spirit of Love forever flowing forth in Goodness, Graciousness, and Glory.
If you can get to that point, then success in all areas of your life will surely come, and I can promise you that your Rolls Royce, caviar-eating dreams will come true…if that’s your thing - but no matter what your end goals are, you are certain to achieve them if you have the Light of Love in Your Heart, and the Shine of Christ in Your Eyes.
You want to make a million dollars? I suggest you start with getting yourself a God, because if you don’t get yourself a God, you ain’t nothing but broke.
Alright. That’s it. That’s all. That’s everything.
I love you now as I love you then.
Until we meet again, my friend, I am
Rev. Shakes Spear
